When I was five years old, I attended a Christmas concert
and to this day only one performance remains vivid in my mind. A girl was on
stage, only a few years older than me, and she held between her knees what
looked to me like a massive violin. It was a beautiful cherry oak sheen but
what captivated me were the warm and mellow tones that resonated out of the
instrument as she played “Amazing Grace”. I learned that this beautiful
instrument was a cello.
Something in my heart told me that I was meant to play this
instrument. I never told anybody that I wanted to play the cello, I kept this
desire silent in my heart. But God knew.
Fast-forward to the 6th grade. I had just moved
from New York to North Carolina and I absolutely hated it. Wherever we went
there was only flat yellow grass. No people walking on the streets, no buses,
nothing. I hated North Carolina. But God knew exactly what I needed.
There was an opportunity in my middle school to play in the
orchestra. I meekly presented to my mother that I wanted to be a part of it.
However, I was only in the 6th grade and you could only enter the
orchestra from the 7th grade. My mom marched me straight to the band
room after school and found a way to enroll me. The teacher asked me what
instrument I wanted to play and I told her the cello. I didn’t know it but God
had heard my heart’s request and was making them come true. Apparently, the
orchestra needed a cellist badly and had an extra one in storage that the
teacher was simply willing to let me borrow and take home to practice. It was
almost too good to be true. I imagine God smiling at his work in this moment.
From that day, I went home and practiced the cello watching
videos for at least three hours a day. There was nothing that I looked forward
to more. Very quickly, I advanced in my skills and my parents (bless them)
bought me a very cheap cello off of Ebay to call my very own. I quickly rose in
the ranks of the orchestra to soon grace first chair by that very first year of
playing.
There was no stopping. I went on to excel to play in the
country orchestra, the regional, and soon even the state orchestra. I went to
governor’s school, represented my school’s quartet, played in front of the
governor, and got to compose my own little pieces for local and school talent
shows.
I entered college and I stopped playing. Academics were
important, I had to excel in them. But one day, I went to church on a Sunday
morning and took a look at the worship team. God nudged my heart to ask,
“Grace, why have you not used your talents for me?” God had shaped every step
of my life to make sure that my heart’s desires were granted and I had not
given one thought to praising him through the cello.
Immediately, I auditioned to play for my campus ministry and
it was my saving grace during college. It was God’s gift to me once again, a
reminder that God knew my heart’s desires and was granting me peace in the time
he found necessary.
I wanted to share this story because there are times when
you can be convinced that God isn’t there or that He isn’t listening. But, God
heard my heart’s desires as a five year old and made sure to carry them out to
bring me the experiences and joys of playing the cello to this day. I found that
opportunities and doors opened and even flung wide as I used my talents more
and more for God’s glory.
What talents has God given you that you could be using to
glorify His name? God has granted each and every one you gifts and talents that
are unique to you. Use them to pursue your dreams, to pursue your career, and
to make the difference you want to in this world.
If you're finding yourself in a place where you keep asking yourself "Am I even good at anything?" or "I don't know what to do as a job or with my life" you probably have not processed or come to a realization of the gifts that God has granted you. It's definitely a process and not one that comes quickly. (I'm still figuring it out) Feel free to e-mail at jadoregrace@gmail.com if you'd like to have someone to talk with to try to understand or process through events in your own life.
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